I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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