I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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