Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
