im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
