I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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