i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
He kissed a someone with a penis
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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