My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
