is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize