My girlfriend figured out who you are.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
