my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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