put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Just took my morning after pill in the library
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
