My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
