She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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