Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I would ride that face into the sunset
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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