Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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