I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
