if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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