I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
