I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
