just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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