is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
