We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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