Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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