everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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