im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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