You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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