Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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