you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
