I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
