Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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