then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
