I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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