I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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