1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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