Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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