If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
