you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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