i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
