please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Randomize