No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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