I should be sponsored by Trojan
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
