I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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