I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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