She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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