I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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