So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
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