When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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