dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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