Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
