so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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