you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
