They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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