bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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