now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I lost the right to judge tonight
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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