it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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