Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
