I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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