what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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