If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
