dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
