Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
