gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Randomize
